Happy birthday to me

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Home. I am 19 today.

And I have only a few words.

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow son of a bitch OW OW.

Last year I got a bald Australian for my birthday, this year I get a bruise on my abdomen. I shall name him Wally. He smiles a little when I bend over.

Comments

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Well, you got thrown around and effectively hit with a cannonball. I'd make some quip about being lucky to survive - but that would kind of be redundant, wouldn't it?

I wonder if we can get little Vicodin sprinkles for your birthday cake.

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Yay vicodin sprinkles! They cut back my dosage after last night. So instead of being in a lot of pain and not really caring, now I only mildly don't care that I'm in a lot of pain

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I believe you have just given me an idea for a combination birthday present/mission accomplished reward...

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what? you going to finally invent those flintsones chewable morphines for me?

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Even better. Have they told you "no swimming"?

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Buddy, I don't think that I could in this state.

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Worry not, Birthday Girl. I have a cunning plan.

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And suddenly, I am Afraid.