Happy birthday to me

[xp_roulette]

Home. I am 19 today.

And I have only a few words.

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow son of a bitch OW OW.

Last year I got a bald Australian for my birthday, this year I get a bruise on my abdomen. I shall name him Wally. He smiles a little when I bend over.

Comments

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

Well, you got thrown around and effectively hit with a cannonball. I'd make some quip about being lucky to survive - but that would kind of be redundant, wouldn't it?

I wonder if we can get little Vicodin sprinkles for your birthday cake.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Yay vicodin sprinkles! They cut back my dosage after last night. So instead of being in a lot of pain and not really caring, now I only mildly don't care that I'm in a lot of pain

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

I believe you have just given me an idea for a combination birthday present/mission accomplished reward...

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

what? you going to finally invent those flintsones chewable morphines for me?

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

Even better. Have they told you "no swimming"?

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Buddy, I don't think that I could in this state.

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

Do you remember how I spent my 18th birthday? I know there's supposed to be some sort of school field trip curse, is there one for birthdays, too?

[xp_daytripper]

Probably. I got dinosaurs for mine this year.

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

And you didn't even get to keep one as a pet, aww...

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Well, considering the first year I was here I got seven hours on a plane and then a big bloody riot, and then the next year I got a birthday party and a bald Marius.

So maybe it skips a year? I dunno. At least I'm not still stuck in Australia, so maybe with enough painkillers, I might be able to leave the house.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday. I would applaud, but I cannot seem to entirely raise my arms at the moment.

You know, this begs the question of what precisely your birthday has against my bodily integrity, and, more generally, why October includes a mandatory beating. Ah well. This year's transformation is somewhat less attractive than the last, but at least the recent thumping was administered by someone not employed by the school. Which I believe is actually a first.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Hey, in my defense, we didn't even know each other the first go-round.

And congrats on that, you are moving up in the world. Some of the birthday elves brought me muffins. Have some. You do have enough mobility in your arms to put hand to mouth, right? If not, I'm sure you can make someone feed you.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Indeed, I remain master of all situations which require only the bending of my elbows. As charming an image as having food pressed to my lips by oblidging young ladies presents, given my current anatomy the practice would be somewhat less than attractive. The lack of actual lips, for example, presenting something of a problem.

(And yes, no worries about Year One. Happily, your initial innocence was more than balanced by the amount of blunt-force trauma you inflicted upon me in Year Two.)

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

This is why it's probably agood idea to start learning how to turn things off. I make my offerings of food out of compassion and considering you all but started chewing on the seats in the jet on the way to South Korea.

And again, in my defense, you kinda deserved it. I don't arbitrarily drop large heavy objects on people without a reason. Usually because they are intending damage to my person.

I wonder what would happen if I took pictures of my bruises and sent them to my college friends? "Sorry I can't come party tonight, and Wally says hi"

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

Is a bald Marius a good thing?

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Yes. Because before that, there were dreadlocks.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Quite. I've been through something to the tune of three different sets of skin whilst at Xavier's. The baldness is better taken to signify my passage from Skin 2 to Skin 3. Whilst possessing certain assets, trust me when I say the loss was celebrated.

[x-wasp.livejournal.com]

I think this goes without saying, but... ew. That doesn't sound like it was fun for you at all. And now you don't even have any lips, but you do have the best Halloween costume EVER!

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Actually, hasn't it been four? There was the first one you regrew right after...prom? So that would be skin #2. Skin #2 fell off into your fetching incarnation of Skin #3. You molted Skin #3 right before my birthday. You are now on Skin #4.

And College Friend Marnie wonders why I start laughing hysterically whenever she says: "I can always depend on you Jennie, whenever I'm having a crisis with my boyfriend you're always so calm..."

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I'm busy hiding away at Mrs. Espinosa's with Yvette so I can only wish you happy birthday from afar. But...I think I have an idea and you'll have a belated birthday present soon after I come back, I think.

(You should dress wally up for your birthday, draw on a little birthday hat maybe)

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Alas, any contact with Wally or the surrounding areas results in pain. As demonstrated by my attempt to give Wally eyes.

If you come back soon, there will be cake. I can't promise you'll get any the longer you wait as it lies amongst the sugar-crazed heathens.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I think I can handle giving up potential cake. Too many people in the past week. The sugar crazed heathens would make me hide under the bed or something.

You know what you need? Those stick on googly eyes. Yes, still pain, BUT then it's over quick and he's got eyes.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

That's why, my darling, you need a hockey stick. Dead useful and they have a long reach.

Yes! You are brilliant! There's my costume! me and Wally, my parasitic fetal twin. With googly eyes. Or something.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Do we really want to go suggesting I, of all people, have anything to use as a weapon? Especially one less fatal than I am? Bad idea, Jennie, bad!

. . . Old present idea out the window, new present idea. Hmmmm, need to get material.

[x-penance.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday Jennie. I am sorry you were hurt, but I am glad you are back. I will give you your present when I come back to the school.