Happy birthday to me

[xp_roulette]

Home. I am 19 today.

And I have only a few words.

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow son of a bitch OW OW.

Last year I got a bald Australian for my birthday, this year I get a bruise on my abdomen. I shall name him Wally. He smiles a little when I bend over.

Comments

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

That's why, my darling, you need a hockey stick. Dead useful and they have a long reach.

Yes! You are brilliant! There's my costume! me and Wally, my parasitic fetal twin. With googly eyes. Or something.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Do we really want to go suggesting I, of all people, have anything to use as a weapon? Especially one less fatal than I am? Bad idea, Jennie, bad!

. . . Old present idea out the window, new present idea. Hmmmm, need to get material.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Not as a weapon! You just use it to prod peopel gently out of your way. You can also attach a claw thingy on the end so it serves two purposes. You can reach far away objects and swat small children! Win!

Ooooh. prezzzzzzzies.....

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I don't need to swat small children, just the larger to adult-sized ones. prodding works but I think as my initial reaction proves, I should not be trusted with implements of prodding that can be used to harm. Clearly I'm malevolent.

Yes. Twisted prezzie, actually. You appreciate morbid a little, right?

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

That's why you need a pink hockey stick. With ribbons and bells. Keep 'em guessing.

Sweet Pea, my birthday's on Halloween, what do you expect?

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

You've been hanging out with Clarice a lot, haven't you?

That you really enjoy people with fake fangs biting you? Hey, built in fetish and you can blame it on birth.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Nah. I just like to give people ...pause.

No, not a fan of the bitey. Never have been, and never will be.

I do like skulls and sacry movies and halloween decorations, however.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

As long as it doesn't involve "let's poke Kevin to see how twitchy it makes him"

Perfect! Then you'll love your present!

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

No poke the Kevin. Unless the Kevin wants to be poked. Gotcha.

Yay!

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

See? We're on the same leel and everything. Aren't we special?

(They mave have juuuust given me another dose of vicodin...)

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think special doesn't even begin to explain it.

(I'm not sure if I should wish you're still on vicodin when I see you or wish you're off it)

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Nonsene, I am amazing and wonderful either way! Many have been blinded by my beautious countenance!

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Blinded, yes, but are we sure beauty is the right word to use?

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Pfft. I'll have you know, I have rendered the boys on many occasions speechless. Even Marius is not immune, and he was stunned silent one memorable evening. I do believe it was my debut to the mansion as a blonde. As well as the blue shirt.

Do not underestimate the power of my charm and my decotage.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I'm not underestimating, I'm debating. There's a difference.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Methinks the lad doth need proof.

Check your phone.

(disclaimer since small children read this, I'm sending him pictures from New Years, perverts)

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Photos can be doctored.....

. . .

(Damn, and here I hoped you and Wally were getting risque for me)

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Check your phone again! :D

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Listening to my suggestions is never a good idea. Eventually you'll end up covered with googly eyes and have a pipe cleaner antler crown.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

That's Christmas. After eggnog. Loooots of eggnog.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Promises, promises.

I'm gonna make you that crown and have those googly eyes on hand now.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Yay! Awesome! You're my favoritest Southern, all-black-wearing, sculpture-making, guy-named-Kevin ever!

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

How convenient since I'm the only one and don't have any competition for the title at all.

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

vidociiiin. is our friend.