Happy birthday to me

[xp_roulette]

Home. I am 19 today.

And I have only a few words.

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow son of a bitch OW OW.

Last year I got a bald Australian for my birthday, this year I get a bruise on my abdomen. I shall name him Wally. He smiles a little when I bend over.

Comments

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I think I can handle giving up potential cake. Too many people in the past week. The sugar crazed heathens would make me hide under the bed or something.

You know what you need? Those stick on googly eyes. Yes, still pain, BUT then it's over quick and he's got eyes.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

That's why, my darling, you need a hockey stick. Dead useful and they have a long reach.

Yes! You are brilliant! There's my costume! me and Wally, my parasitic fetal twin. With googly eyes. Or something.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Do we really want to go suggesting I, of all people, have anything to use as a weapon? Especially one less fatal than I am? Bad idea, Jennie, bad!

. . . Old present idea out the window, new present idea. Hmmmm, need to get material.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Not as a weapon! You just use it to prod peopel gently out of your way. You can also attach a claw thingy on the end so it serves two purposes. You can reach far away objects and swat small children! Win!

Ooooh. prezzzzzzzies.....

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I don't need to swat small children, just the larger to adult-sized ones. prodding works but I think as my initial reaction proves, I should not be trusted with implements of prodding that can be used to harm. Clearly I'm malevolent.

Yes. Twisted prezzie, actually. You appreciate morbid a little, right?

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

That's why you need a pink hockey stick. With ribbons and bells. Keep 'em guessing.

Sweet Pea, my birthday's on Halloween, what do you expect?

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

You've been hanging out with Clarice a lot, haven't you?

That you really enjoy people with fake fangs biting you? Hey, built in fetish and you can blame it on birth.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Nah. I just like to give people ...pause.

No, not a fan of the bitey. Never have been, and never will be.

I do like skulls and sacry movies and halloween decorations, however.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

As long as it doesn't involve "let's poke Kevin to see how twitchy it makes him"

Perfect! Then you'll love your present!

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

No poke the Kevin. Unless the Kevin wants to be poked. Gotcha.

Yay!

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

See? We're on the same leel and everything. Aren't we special?

(They mave have juuuust given me another dose of vicodin...)

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think special doesn't even begin to explain it.

(I'm not sure if I should wish you're still on vicodin when I see you or wish you're off it)

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Nonsene, I am amazing and wonderful either way! Many have been blinded by my beautious countenance!

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Blinded, yes, but are we sure beauty is the right word to use?

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Pfft. I'll have you know, I have rendered the boys on many occasions speechless. Even Marius is not immune, and he was stunned silent one memorable evening. I do believe it was my debut to the mansion as a blonde. As well as the blue shirt.

Do not underestimate the power of my charm and my decotage.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I'm not underestimating, I'm debating. There's a difference.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Methinks the lad doth need proof.

Check your phone.

(disclaimer since small children read this, I'm sending him pictures from New Years, perverts)

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Photos can be doctored.....

. . .

(Damn, and here I hoped you and Wally were getting risque for me)

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Check your phone again! :D

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Listening to my suggestions is never a good idea. Eventually you'll end up covered with googly eyes and have a pipe cleaner antler crown.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

That's Christmas. After eggnog. Loooots of eggnog.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Promises, promises.

I'm gonna make you that crown and have those googly eyes on hand now.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Yay! Awesome! You're my favoritest Southern, all-black-wearing, sculpture-making, guy-named-Kevin ever!

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

vidociiiin. is our friend.