(no subject)

[xp_roulette]

Dear Herman Melville,

While I can accept the fact that you are one of the great American writers and thus are assigned to torment educate high school seniors, if I get ONE MORE page describing whale anatomy, I am going to kill something.

Seriously.

No Love,

Me.



P.S.. Although, I can see why we're compairing this to Freud. Phallic much there? Geez. I think I prefer Hamlet and his Mom-love.

Comments

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Marius? What did I say about laying off the crack?

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Ah, Jen, I am constantly distressed by how little you know me even now that we are one flesh. I have told you countless times that I am a reformed man, clean and free of addiction.

Now merely with added Hat.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Right, of course, I forget you do not need chemicals to be a nitwit.

Of course, you will understand when I will walk 10 feet ahead of you when we are in public if you wear the Hat. My presence would detract from the stunningness that is the Hat.

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

Wait, is it Hat Wars time? I always win at Hat Wars. Unless Kyle brings out that strange thing he wears on his brainpan...

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Don't flatter yourself. My hat is vastly superior. Yours lacks the attractive white hatband.

Now, if Jay were still here to contribute the feather, on the other hand . . .

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

See, you might need to re-learn a few things, now that you're no longer regularly consuming your peers as a matter of survival. It's often considered gauche in modern culture to wear parts of one's friends.

Besides, Jay's feathers are that weird dark pink color that doesn't go well with anything I own.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Lies! It would work with the Fabulous Pink Shirt.

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

Possibly. I could try and pass it off as some sort of odd tribal thing, if I gave a damn.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Is it now? It seems rather inconsequential after going a solid year wearing the mutations of others. Providing the accessory was willingly donated, that is.

You do have that pink which you of course did not intend to acquire in any way, shape or form and yet still persist in wearing.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

My hats > all.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

You wound me. You know I need no further chemical assistence. The damage has long since been done.

You do speak the truth. Lovely as you are, even your indescribable beauty pales before that of the Hat. One must hope it never comes putting a choice to it; our fragile martrimony might once again find itself in dire straights.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

It is all right, I have my own cunning headwear for when it is cold. Your Hat may be Stunning, but I have a Fluffy coat. Behold!

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Curses. Now your head shall be as warm as mine!

Clearly I must formulate another plan.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

Ah, do not fret my love. The warmer my head, the less chance for communicable diseases. While it's always entertaining to sneeze and have something randomly bad happen, I'd rather not have to explain to Mr. Marko why I broke another desk. Again.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

You could get some Really Awesome Hair? Except Jennie really has better hair then you do...

[x-siryn.livejournal.com]

Lots of us have better hair than Marius. Particularly right now.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Right now, MY hair is better than Marius.

[x-siryn.livejournal.com]

That's true.

Mine, of course, is always better than Marius's.

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

And of course, mine triumphs overall.

[x-siryn.livejournal.com]

Oh I think not. My hair is clearly superior to yours.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Marius has a mop.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Did Kyle just insult my luxurious tresses, now sadly maimed before their time? Mate, did you or did you not once hack yours off above the ears for reasons of a good kicking?

Terry, however, I concede shall win forevermore at Hair.

[x-siryn.livejournal.com]

Of course I do. People would kill to have hair like mine.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

I find it inexcusable that of the physical mutations I was able to absorb in your year of selfless donations, your fabulous hair did not number among them.

Truly my heart is rent in twain. This I shall solve with another dance.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

And yet, even short, my hair is still better.